Sean Costello is an entrepreneurial leader who values the right balance of culture and execution. He has founded multiple companies on the principles of patience and curiosity, and works hard to maintain a supportive atmosphere for his clines and employees. This has lead Sean to his contribution to Paper Napkin Wisdom: People all around you want to help, they just don’t yet know how.
In Sean’s experience, real connections become possible when you share with people how they can help you. We are all here to help unlock each other’s people and help each other succeed. In so doing, we ourselves will succeed by realizing our strength. Thinking of this another way, how effective would a sports team be if each player was wearing blinders and was unable to locate their teammates? The metaphor of the team can thus relate to family, an organization, a corporation, or any community of people that is reliant on one another.
The requirement or exercise within this philosophy, as Sean explains, is quite simple. It is about actively asking for feedback while simultaneously making it safe for sharing. Sharing, in this case, can mean everything from concerns to feedback to dreams. This creates an environment of possibilities.
Sean exploration as a microcosm for business - it cannot succeed without the appropriate amount of process, planning, preparation, and simulation. This has driven his fascination with the space program, while also helping him meet and develop a co-mentorship with someone he calls “Young Astronaut Abby”. Abby shared with him, in their first meeting, her dream of being the first astronaut to Mars. Sean challenged Abby to continue with and develop that dream, rather than dismissing it as childish whimsy. She has since spoken on a Ted X stage about acting and dreaming big, and leveraged her dream into other examples of success. This was able to occur because she shared her dream with Sean and gave him the awareness on how she could be helped.
Another example is quite personal for Sean. When his grandfather was about to turn 100, his family was flying into a remote town to celebrate. Sean wanted to offer him something unique to help him with that celebration, so on the flight there, he shared with the pilot the location of his grandfather’s farm. The farm happened to be near the airport, so Sean simply asked for a fly by. The pilot, of course, was more than happy to oblige and Sean was able to take photos of the farmhouse as they flew over to share with his grandfather and elevate his birthday celebration.
This is all to say that Sean enters every transaction, regardless of the situation, by sharing how he defines success with the other participants. For example, he was able to convince a customer to pay up front for a full year by offering a reduced price, all the while that up front cash was also helping Sean to succeed by providing him with financing.
In Sean’s experience, the best approach to relationships is to start by thinking “what do I need to do for them” rather than thinking “what do I need to demand”. The result will be more fulfilling for both parties.
For more than two decades, Alex Charfen has been creating and testing business philosophies specifically geared towards entrepreneurs. Alex has been an entrepreneur himself during this period, and has developed the Entrepreneurial Personality Type to help business owners grow their business and themselves. He has contributed to numerous major media outlets and brings his core philosophy to Paper Napkin Wisdom: “There is nothing wrong with you.”
Alex’s contribution stems from an observation that whoever has stood out in history has always had a restlessness - something that people constantly told them was a weakness. Ranging from the original great thinkers of Athens to Einstein to Buffett, opposition to this type of innovative thinking has always originated from a resistance to change. In the business world, entrepreneurs represent this archetype because we are highly susceptible to negative criticism.
At every level of business - and especially when starting out - the message is “fix yourself.” In Alex’s experience, however, entrepreneurs must discover how to identify strengths and abilities, develop protection and support, and lower pressure and noise. You may be surprised at how rapidly these efforts help in accomplishing your goals. Alex even goes so far as to recommend leaning into your personality (as opposed to tempering it) and make it a more prominent part of your business.
From the work Alex has done with entrepreneurs, he has identified three awakenings that each of us experiences: 1) a realization that we are fundamentally different, 2) an innate motivation to keep going, 3) the call of contribution. The first stage begins at an early age by learning “what is wrong with me” through systemic suppression and fear. This eventually grows, however, into learning how to get ahead, and learning that self improvement often requires breaking systemic rules. The next evolution becomes “how to get my partners and team ahead”, which finally results in “how to contribute and help everyone.” Think of Bill Gates as the perfect example: someone who began is career as selfish, driven, and cutthroat, but developed a philanthropic, generous spirit of contribution.
Entrepreneurial personalities tend to prefer momentum to feeling - forward vs backwards as opposed to happy vs sad. As such, chasing momentum is more rewarding than chasing happiness. Entrepreneurs tend to be momentum-based or highly attuned to whether they’re moving forward. As Alex describes it, pressure and noise = stress, frustration, obstacles, regardless of size. Protection and support comes from surrounding yourself with people who help you move forward.
Complete the following exercise: think of a time when you experienced a high level of momentum. What were you chasing and how are you tracking your momentum? Who contributed to you and who have you contributed to? A perfect example of this formula is Rick Hoyt: a person who, with the help of his father, family, neighbors and friends, overcame a physical disability to develop strengths and abilities, and eventually make a contribution through inspiration.